This is a main page holder for thoughts on parenting. I am not primarily a “positive parenting” or “gentle” parenting advocate but a strong advocate for the full understanding and acceptance of children and child development.
As such, I am non-punitive. I do not believe in punishing or altering what is already designed well: the natural forward moving growth of children. My work documents the age-related stages children go through. Children, per our common sensibilities, “misbehave” during these stages. My main argument is these are not times to fix, correct, or punish, but to see as a clue–a new ability is on its way. These times when they provoke and shock us are clues. We lean in harder. Hence the title of my book series, Misbehavior is Growth. I hope people say this commonly. When a child falls apart: “Misbehavior is Growth!”
I also delve into some Toxic Parenting practices. I believe that knowing how things go wrong can teach us, sometimes more deeply, how and why it is important to get things right. I hope my work can provide some of the clues as to why so many adults struggle with various issues. Our childhoods mattered profoundly.
I do offer positive pro-active solutions. At each milestone I document, I have Surviving and Thriving sections. It is tips and tools to deal with a child at that age. My Misbehavior is Growth book series will eventually outline every milestone with conflict resolution ideas and robust educational ideas. My goal isn’t really to get children to sleep at night or “listen.” My goal is to help you raise dynamic children.
My main goal is to find an institution to take over this child development work, such that it continues on and becomes formalized. Read about this here: A Note to Researchers. Please share with anyone who might be interested in doing further research.
My book Towards Liberalism: A Challenge to Objectivist Ethics dives into why I think all punitive means, personal and political, should be rejected in order for humanity to survive. I think a deep philosophical and ethical challenge needs made in order to see systemic change in parenting and education.
Please root around at the pages listed at this website for more. 🙂 Drop me a line if you want: helloamber@gmail.com.