My work captures the age-related “stages” children go through. It is when children act up and act weird at age-related times. Per the theory of many, these are times of internal growth. My work attempts to capture both the “irritating” behavior and the new abilities that seem to come with it. This is the page for 9+ year olds. This was last updated on July 11, 2021.
Nine Year Old Milestone 1 —Persistent Responsibility
Most Intense: On and off throughout but the mounting frustration might cause it to explode near the end
Irritable Period Summary
Extreme Insecurity and Jealousy
• If another child won’t play with them, it’s devastating.
• If their sister has a friend along but they have no one, they are very upset.
• If they sign into an online class and found out just then that they need something they don’t have, such as an email account, they might get very, very upset.
• Their hurt and pain over this can last well into the day after the offending incident happened.
• They are hypersensitive now, over a lot of things.
• They might sense a detailed thing better, such as how a word is spelled. They might be really upset that it’s spelled “hour” instead of “ow-er.”
• They are sensitive to how observant they might be. They challenge themselves to watch a movie and understand exactly what is going on. If the movie makes no sense (as many don’t), they get very frustrated.
Disinterested, Out of It
• They might be highly disinterested in things.
• They might not want to play games they used to enjoy.
• They might be completely uninterested in any homework.
• They might fall out of their bed, because they got out face forward. As you inquire about it, they “forgot” how to get out of bed.
• Might be moody and overrespond to the smallest of slights
• If you ask them to take a bath, they stomp off to a closet and sob they have no control over life (despite being as child led as you could ever possibly be).
• They might be so overcome by irritation that they pick up a chair and start threatening to throw it. When you ask them later what was going through their mind, they sincerely don’t know.
• The fact that they are so out of it and yet prone to aggression might be a very difficult parenting challenge. No amount of explanations helps to resolve anything and yet the are threatening to throw chairs.
• You might choose (as I did) to deliberately get in their face, because no amount of talking gets through. I can say this behavior DOES end and remarkable skills are on their way. Knowing this might help.
New Abilities Summary
• Stunningly responsible and joyful, day after day
• They were disinterested and moody in the irritable period, but they are now stunningly helpful.
• If you host a party or an event, they might help clean up at the end and also make sure you don’t forget anything.
• They help secretly arrange a surprise for Father’s Day or a birthday.
• With step by step instructions, they can do their own laundry.
• They are very responsible about schoolwork. You can ask them to do one workbook page per day (say of a spelling workbook), and they commit to doing it every day, with little prompting.
• They are proud to think that if they were given $100, they would give it away to an orphanage.
• They are extremely astute about what they read in stories, see in movies, or watch in real life.
• Not to toot my own horn, but my oldest said, a few times, “Well, misbehavior is growth!” This is the name of my book series related to these milestones. He said this, for instance, when Marian breaks the law in order to save Robin Hood. “Nothing is more true when you think about it” he said. He recognizes that rocky times of transformation or even law breaking led to something better. He saw the book laying around at our house and diligently tried to make sense of it.